Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Douche bags!!!

Ed Hardy, Tapout, Affliction, these are just some of the names you'll see branded on some tough guy's chest out there in the realm of meat market night clubs. Not to say that every guy that wears these shirts is a douchbags, but the majority make a case for it.
It's like a game for me to try to point out a douchebag by his appearance. Yes, that's correct, i'm judging a fucking book by it's cover. But this is obviously a shitty book full of pictures and hardly any literature to appeal to the retarded masses with a big bright colorful cover.
Anyways, here's a list of tell tale signs to identify your local Douche:

1. Loud, in your face printed graphic tees. with a possible matching hat thrown in there for Uber douchery.

2. Stupid ass tattoos based on current trends, like arm bands, lone wolfs, Chinese characters when you're not even Chinese...You get the point.

3. Blown out hair and fake ass orange tans. WTF! This one I really don't get. why do you wan't to appear as though you were part of a looney tunes explosion with your hair spiked out blown back and a fake ass tan that doesn't remotely look natural.

4. Facial hair, like mini chin straps, barely there eyebrows (when it's obvious that you're a hairy fuck), and or a clean manicured 5 o'clock shadow (Or as we, out here in the bay area, call the San Jose look). The image above pretty much covers 2 outta 3 here.

5. Attention whore shades. Unless you're cyclops from X-men, there is no need to have shades that cover half of your face. And don't even get me started on those blinder shades.

(Kanye AKA Gay fish: Doucebag of the decade)

6. The girls that go for these guys. Not only are they accessories on the arms of douchebags, but they are ultimately responsible for these guys continuing their existence by reproducing with them. You, douchebag lovers, are as much douches as the boys you love.
watch Is She Really Going out With Him on MTV to catch a glimpse of douchebags and the girls that love them haha.

Feel free to add to the list. I know as simple as these guys might seem, there are more complex douchebags out there and constantly evolving signs of what a douchebag is.

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